I recently started meeting new ladies through my Young and Living team. The entire experience of meeting them has been life changing for me. It was the first time in a very long time that I have been excited to see people and want to learn more about them. So what gives???
They are so freaking happy! Every single time I speak with them they are optimistic and positive. Even when their businesses are struggling or no one comes to a class; the amount of support and optimism these women show to one another is unreal. When I first started going, I thought they had to be faking it..no one is that genuine. But the more time I have spent with them, the more and more I learn that they truly are happy people out to help and support the people they meet.
Remember when your mom told you the people you hang around is the person you become. If you were like me, you probably just laughed. I have never been someone to follow others, I’ve always been my own person so I never thought much about it. Well..mom may have been on to something. Motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, has said that based on the law of averages, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
Think about how profound that is. You may voluntarily or involuntarily spend time with 5 people the most. Think about that coworker that you sit next to every day. Or the parents you sit next to at your kids’ practices/events, your spouse, or your kids. And yet, you have the power to change your average simply by adding a new person or removing a person from your intimate group.
The people I had been surrounding myself with, while not necessarily negative..ok some are..most feel stuck about some aspect of their lives and this “stuck” feeling gets them down and also feeling like, “this is it – I’m meant to be single forever,” or “I can’t afford to go back to school, so this is the best career I’m going to find,” or “my spouse and I fight constantly, but that’s what couples do.” Instead of finding meaningful reasons to be grateful for their current situation, or coming up with a plan of action, they have started making excuses or playing a victim role.
This week I had two different meetings about an hour apart and the experience I felt between the two was mind blowing. First, I had a happy hour with my normal crew. While it was a good time, I noticed how the negativity loomed over us. We went from talking about this person’s divorce to the cost of being a bridesmaid to the other gossip at work. None of the conversation was meaningful or encouraging to each other in any way. I became acutely aware of my anxiety and blood pressure rising – and I was only there an hour.
Next, I popped over to a business builders meeting with the new ladies. Everyone was excited to see one another. I met someone new and it felt like I had known her forever – warm and kind. We chatted for a few minutes after our meeting. We discussed our struggles with getting our husbands on board with us or who didn’t show to a recent class or how we raise our children differently. The difference however, was profound to me. The ladies accepted their situation and mentioned positives within it. “My husband thinks this is witch crafty, but he has started trying the oils and even came to a meeting.” There were no comments about what a crappy husband he was or that you don’t deserve that crap.” Instead it was accepted and the positive was reaffirmed- “it sounds like he’s trying to learn more and support you!”
As we were walking to the car, one of ladies asked if I was ok. The truth was, I was completely overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by how annoyed I had been at the happy hour and even more overwhelmed by how emotional I was feeling with this new group of women. I have never connected with a group of ladies so quickly or on such a deep level. I tend to be introverted in large groups and getting to know people can take me a while, especially since I’m not much of a chit-chatter.
One of the ladies had mentioned the “Law of Attraction” in our meeting and how strongly she believes in it. She even shared some of her personal testimonies. According to Wikipedia, the Law of Attraction is, “..the idea that people and their thoughts are both made from “pure energy”, and that through the process of “like energy attracting like energy” a person can improve their own health, wealth and personal relationships.” By me shifting my thought process to a positive mind frame, I may in turn attract more positivity to my life leading to a happier, healthier lifestyle.
Linking this idea to the Law of Averages, I should be able to improve my own “average” by changing a few of the people I spend the most amount of time with. Focusing my time with people that will bring optimism, happiness, and encouragement to the table, should allow my own energy to be affected in a better, healthier way.
Now am I saying, go out and ditch the people you may spend the most amount of time with? Not necessarily. remember the coworker – they’re not going anywhere. Maybe a family member is dealing with a deep personal issue that isn’t going to change any time soon and they need your support. But, you can change your approach! For example, if someone is a complete Debbie Downer, maybe, just smile, say something encouraging, and walk away. You don’t have to listen, you don’t have to stay in the immediate situation, you don’t have to let the negative energy overtake you. You have options.
Both concepts, the law of averages and law of attraction are simple ideas when you first learn about them. The challenge however, is that people don’t like change. People become numb to their day-to-day routines and may not even realize they are in a negative situation or that they are having a negative effect on others. It requires deep reflection and openness to the idea of something greater. It means putting yourself out there to meet one new person or speak up when others are gossiping. It means raising your expectations of what you want to have out of life and accepting no less. It means being confident in yourself to know the level of happiness you want and to take the first step towards it.
I hope one day we can all look at our lives and feel complete optimism towards our futures. Until that time, I’m going to continue to take one step forward towards that goal and remember to smile and bring out the best energy possible to others.